Americana Galore and Flaming Zombies: September 08

This whole case is like one big slice of weird shit filled with flakey types that could be anything. I don’t think the guys have two clues about who is behind it all and that includes Jack. So like I’m just laying all this out there and see for yourself where it all goes.

Maybe there are two cases that we think is one big one.

So like it began with the muster, that’s when we like all get called or SMSd to go to TSM. Jack told us about some police lead like a body totally burnt up and no obvious cause. Hitch and Dan got some forensic gear together and we headed out. What it seemed like was this Rocco Scardino got crispy-toasted in his own apartment.

Checking back on Scardino we found he used to be with a flakey group called the Hell Rats and they all died ages ago except him, but like he made good and built this business called Americana Galore then a couple others for security and electronics.

Our leads on the Hell Rats led to like totally zip so we started checking Americana. About the same time someone started checking up on us. We were getting like totally stalked, especially Cliff and Hitch. The main guy doing the stalking was this one guy with a goatee and a smirk.

Then like another burning victim turned up a guy called Greco alias Steffano and OMG he is from Americana as well, plus he was a Hell Rat before going MIA. It seemed like he had been in witness protection so we are thinking we got one end of a fed case. We can’t shake the goatee guy either.

About this time most of us meet Hitch’s mom at the Ben-Pao restaurant, she is some famous writer like of actual books and pretty cool. Right then some other diners start bursting into flames so we suspect something evil is afoot ROFL. I make a total clutz move and spill soup on my good outfit which was partly loaned off Ronni btw, we stop the zombies trying to burn this Florence chick, and we see the goatee guy smirking at us again. Florence is tied in this Michale Ryall guy who flamed on, and they both used to work at Americana. Paul does some DARMA digging and tells us these flaming zombies have some long latin name and news flash, they are zombies that burn. So at least we know how the other victims got burnt, but not how they got in.

I get myself a job in the Americana Call Centre and first day up pow, I swipe the employee roster. We find out this goatee guy is Bardi Farahani which is pronounced Ferrani btw and he is at the same address as an ex-employee Gerry Slater. He meets me passing by and winks very laid-back so he knows we are all over his case, and doesn’t care.

So like yeah then we do head out to the apartment and OMG I am so glad we went loaded up for trouble! We are checking the usual Evil Mastermind stuff, like a jar that could have held dragon teeth LOL and a PC, then we get attacked by huge apes! We are using these special magicky silent charms on the guns but bullets smacking into walls sure make a lot of noise! Oh yeah and then there’s the apes screaming and Dan screaming like a girl but we get them all put down, then they turn into cute little jade charms. There is like this Persian theme going on in some of the ornaments so we calculate that Bardi has taken over Gerry’s body or something. Finally and just to confuse us more the PC runs an MSM from 0verl0rd12 saying “I have not heard how the mission went. Report.”

So like there are a lot of bodies around by this time, all ready to flame on. We feel like we are getting somewhere cause we know it is a special tattoo that creates the flame trigger, but not why any of this is going on. I’m like feeling dumber by the hour as Hitch reels out another theory on why someone is like totally trying to take out the Americana roster.

But like I’m not the dumbest of our team, Cliff is snatched by Bardi Ferrani and we have to go break into an old retail frontage and rescue him. I am going to check for entrances but Hitch gets like all I’m in charge and decides we are taking the front door, then Dan and Paul decide to hang around to see if they can act like flakey types breaking into an abandoned store. OMG picture my eyes rolling! I head in, Hitch not far behind, Caleb stays just inside guarding the door until he is trapped by an alligator I kid u not and I have to run back to help the big dope. Hitch is trying to help out near me, then Dan rushes in and gets way too far forward and starts screaming like a girl again. Then Paul rushes round to find the escalator upstairs but it is blocked off, and a couple zombies are on the way down. Time for Paul to start screaming like a girl. I think that is the first time his suit got totally burnt LOL.

Meanwhile Cliff has like broken free upstairs and wanders down, taking out a flaming zombie who turns out was Gerry Slater I’m pretty sure. We have some dodging around the stacks and barricades shooting at zombies then we put them all down. Bardi waves us good bye and wanders off. We decide he is way too tough for us! Only later Jack like takes me aside and tells me off for not being on my game with Bardi and the flaming zombies. I guess I like high-rated Bardi cause Hitch gave me this big lecture about how dangerous he was and not to go into work, and like I low-rated the zombie guy cause at the Chinese place that zombie was kinda lame just going you know like “graagh” and the guys were just fending it off with chairs or whatever it was hilarious except it wasn’t so funny for me cause of my outfit and the soup thing like I told you already. So like I was really sorry, you know? So then like Jack is all thats OK Sandi the other guys don’t all have your combat skills keep it real you know.

Later on we hear Americana Galore goes offshore, so maybe Bardi is a black-ops magic genie from India or somewhere they want to build a call centre business the hard way.

So we kinda save the day, but have no real idea what all of it was about. That’s pretty much what TSM is all about, go with the flow, shoot shit if its a legit target, enjoy, party on.


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